


Spare and Spoil

by INMH



Category: Silent Hill
Genre: Angst, Corporal Punishment (Slapping), Drama, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Borderline Child Abuse, Language, Neglect, Silent Hill: Homecoming - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 21:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One can only endure rejection for so long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spare and Spoil

**Author's Note:**

> If Josh or Alex's characters deviate from the game, my apologies: It's been a while since I've played Homecoming and I can't remember if Alex showed any signs, obvious or otherwise, of resenting Josh for the treatment he got (I strongly lean towards no).

Josh knew he was the favorite.

To say that that was awkward was an understatement; it was doubly-awkward because Alex knew it to be true as well.

It was obvious in everything, little and big: When Adam and Lillian spoke to Joshua, it was about good things, in good tones and good humor. Sometimes Lillian could spare that for Alex too, but for the most part, she didn't speak to him. And in his eight years of life, Josh was reasonably certain that he had never heard Adam speak a word to Alex that didn't have coldness or disapproval laced into it.

Josh had never asked why, and to the best of his knowledge neither had Alex. It was a silent truth of their household: Josh was the favorite, the preferred, the loved, and Alex was not. No one acknowledged it out loud, and simply from what he had observed over his short life, Josh was under the impression that it was not meant to be. It just was, and it had to be accepted as long as they lived with their parents.

For the most part, Alex fielded it with sadness. He didn't get angry, didn't yell or fall into a foul mood- his shoulders drooped, his eyes darkened and he might go off to their room and do something or other. As he got older, Alex gradually seemed to become more and more determined to not let the hurt show: He would stiffen at the criticism, force his expression to stay steady, and then go for a walk or some other energy-expending activity.

In recent weeks, Josh had detected another change, somewhat subtler than the previous ones. Years of bitterness born from neglect and scorn had started to build up, and now he was starting to see the anger for their parents in his brother's eyes. Alex had started to cross the line from 'It's okay, I don't need their approval' to 'To hell with them and their damn approval'.

This was most evident when Alex started to go off and do whatever without notifying anyone where he was going. On most of these occasions, Josh didn't bother asking to go along because one, he was fairly certain Alex would say no; and two, he wasn't certain he wanted to be around his brother on those excursions. The look on Alex's face whenever he got back was rarely peaceful, and Josh considered that he was better off not looking for his brother and not knowing where he was and what he was doing.

When those unexplained disappearances became a bit more frequent, Josh had a very, very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. While their parents were content to not care as much about Alex as they were about him, Adam was a strict man and even more so when it came to Alex. Insubordination would not fly with him, and he had taken notice of his older son's absences almost immediately.

Every time Adam asked "Where's your brother, Josh?" and Josh was forced to reply with a shrug and an "I don't know", he knew that things were going to go wrong and get bad. Eventually Josh knew that Adam would confront Alex, and he was no longer certain that his brother would be able to just bite his tongue and walk away from the criticism. Alex was getting ready to stand up for himself- Adam did not like being stood up to.

And then, one night, it finally happened.

Alex came home late. Very late. Late enough that Josh's curiosity burned twice as hard as before, because where could Alex have been? Everything was closed, and he couldn't have just been wandering around in the dark. Maybe there was one place in particular that he went to when he was gone; it would explain why, whenever Josh asked around, no one could recall seeing Alex anywhere.

Josh took notice of Alex's absence some time around eight. Around nine, he began to tense-up, knowing that much longer would result in trouble. Ten o' clock rolled around and he cringed. Eleven o'clock came and went, and around eleven forty-five-

The front door opened and shut.

Josh held his breath, clutching his pillow and praying that Alex could make it upstairs before either of their parents realized that he was home.

No such luck. Josh would look back on this moment later on and wonder over how it escalated so quickly.

"Alex, where the hell were you?" Adam's voice was somewhat muffled by the distance, but Josh could hear that it was low and rumbling and broadcasting all kinds of warning signs that Alex should tread lightly.

Unfortunately, it seemed that tonight was the night when Alex was choosing to make his less-than pleasant feelings known. "Out."

"That's not an answer."

"What does it matter? You don't give a damn where I go half the time anyway, why should being out at night matter?"

"I don't want you getting into trouble."

Alex snorted. "Right, right, because my sorry ass only matters when it could damage your reputation, right Sheriff?"

"You watch your tone when you talk to me, boy!"

" _Fuck you!_ "

You could have heard a pin drop.

There was a long moment of silence that followed, and Josh realized that his mouth was hanging open in shock. Of all the things you could conceivably say to a parent but _shouldn't_ , that particular phrase was at the top of the list. Alex and their dad had always argued, but Alex had never actually dared to say something like _that._

Finally, Adam spoke. His voice was the soft rumble that came right before an explosion of thunder. "What did you just say to me?"

Josh could picture his older brother floundering, slowly realizing what he had said and trying desperately to think of a way to save himself before-

_WHACK._

Josh flinched as though Adam's hand had made contact with his face and not Alex's. That, he thought, must be what a teeth-rattling smack sounded like, and from the sound of it, Alex had lost his balance and stumbled from it.

Their father had hit Alex. _Hit_ him. Adam had _never_ hit either of them before. Neither had Lillian- she was asleep, else Josh would have been more than a bite interested to hear her reaction to Alex getting whacked like that.

"Dad-"

_WHACK- **BUMP.**_

Another slap, this time followed by a sound that had to be Alex hitting the wall. Josh went rigid, panicking quietly and trying to decide if he should take some sort of action ( _What do I do what do I do do I get mom do I call someone do I go down and say something what do I do-?_ )

There was another, sifter bumping-shuffling noise, and then it sounded like Adam was saying something too quiet for Josh to hear. It was probably some sort of threat (warning) that Alex better not say anything like that again (or else). The younger Shepherd brother waited with baited breath, listened for another bump or slap or other noise that might indicate that Adam wasn't done making Alex regret those words.

Finally, Adam spoke loudly enough for Josh to just catch it: "Go to bed. _Now._ "

Alex _ran_ upstairs, and for the first time Adam didn't snap at him for it. Normally running up the stairs was worthy of a five-minute lecture (for Alex- Josh got maybe a minute and a half at most). When the ajar door swung open all of the way, Josh shut his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He heard Alex wriggle out of his jacket and toss it aside before hauling himself up to the top bunk without getting undressed otherwise. His breathing was rapid and ragged.

And to a degree, Josh knew it was his fault.

He knew his parents preferred him over Alex, and knew that that was probably at least part of the source of Alex's resentment towards them. Josh wanted to apologize to Alex (though it wasn't as though he could help it), wanted to go downstairs and beg his parents to stop being so mean to Alex, to speak to his brother the way they spoke to him. But Josh knew it would be a futile effort: Alex would tell him it wasn't his fault, and his parents would tell him to butt out. One the few occasions when he had tried something similar he had gotten the same response.

He didn't understand.

He didn't know what made him so special.

He couldn't help it.

And so Josh did the only thing he knew how to: Curled into a ball and tried to pretend that he didn't hear Alex sniffling in the bunk above.

-End


End file.
